My fascination with Egypt is as old as my memory and was it up to me, it would have probably been one of my first destinations when I started travelling. Yet something in me was always preventing me from going there. The feeling that I was not ready yet to experience it on the level that I knew was possible.
Three years following my spiritual awakening, everything aligned so that I go there.
I was arranging with my partner a regular touristic visit. But my guides thought otherwise. This trip was to be one to help activate the monuments of the ancient initiatic path.
I was given a list of temples to visit:
PHILAE KOM OMBO LUXOR TEMPLE SAQQARA SERAPEUM KARNAK VALLEY OF THE KINGS ELEPHANTINE ? Aswan temple SCARF Dendarah Philae
Awakening can be the most blissful experience that happens to one. But to the unprepared body, it can feel like a total nervous breakdown.
The main cause of disturbances in the body following a spontaneous (Unprepared) spiritual awakening is that the frequency of the new consciousness acquired is higher than what your physical body is used to processing.
This can also be due to blockages in the body that are preventing the energy from flowing. Both physical and mental traumas are factors that contribute to this.
High voltage of energy coming across blockages creates condensed pressure on the myelin (fatty substance that coats and protects nerve fibers in the brain and spinal cord). This causes a delay or loss of nervous messages. This same phenomena is known as Demyelination. The phenomena also involved in Multiple sclerosis and other nervous disorders, which is why, in many cases, spontaneous awakening symptoms can mimic those diseases. (Read more about my awakening symptoms).
To aid your physical body during a spiritual awakening and avoid permanent nerve damage, certain habit changes are required. It is important to tackle the problem holistically, clearing both the physical AND the mental traumas.
It is essential to develop new routines.
Body: Inner Power
Yoga
Stretch it out. Let it flow.
Throughout human history, our ancestors became aware of the presence of a mystical, intangible force all around and in us.
The names of it differed from one culture to another: Chi, aura, prana, energy, ki, soul vibration or what our youth today call vibe. Yet it is always experienced as the life force, the energy that flows through us and through all matter. the force that gives life to the material.
In physics, quantum field theory has proved to be the single most sweeping and successful physical theory ever invented. A theory that suggests that the essence of all things is composed of fields among which are electric and magnetic fields.
When this electo-magnetic essence of our being, what we will chose to call for the sake of simplicity ‘energy’, runs into blockages, shortages happen in our nervous system.
Yoga as a practice, is to facilitates the life energy movement in the body. It directs its flow and aids clear blockages where found.
As every system is different, it is important to find the practice that works for you, in light of the blockages you are experiencing. What can help is to try out different practices with awareness and to have a feedback system to know how and when to adjust or change these practices.
The consistency of a yoga practice is key to visible results.
Breath work
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Pranayamasis, or conscious breathing, is a great way to clear energetic blockages.
I have felt the biggest impact on my symptoms following a monthly breath work practice.
My spirit guide requested doing a specific pranayama called Ananda mandala as part of my full moon ceremony. I was also given the instructions to conduct the breath work at sunset, having only consumed pure cacao drinks the entire day.
Ananda Mandala is a combined breath work and meditation for powerful cleansing. It uses an accelerated, rhythmic breathing pattern to generate a powerful prana energy that is driven through the focused attention to dissolve traumas cemented in the body.
Reduce toxins
You are what you eat.
When it comes to what eating habits work best for you, it will really depend on the type of vehicle you are inhibiting. Getting conscious about your body’s reaction to the food you consume is key to acquire that understanding.
While I was having the symptoms, the most important dietary change, my spirit guide recommended, was to reduce my intake of harmful toxins to a minimum. Eating mostly organic food when possible, avoiding pesticides, avoiding canned food.
Work
out
‘Life is like a bicycle, in order to keep balance, you have to keep moving’
Another routine that I developed later on, is practicing Surya Namaskar. This Sun salutation is a series of 11 yoga poses that are repeated for any number of times in a form of a physical mantra.
During my very first astral trip, I met my spirit guide, Izmyr. After showing me a light city that I came from, he flew me over a volcano. As he was showing me around it, he said, ‘You have to find this place and visit it’ ‘How will I find it?’ ‘Don’t worry, you will be guided. It will look different, but you will know when you see it’
Then, he landed us on its top. There was a deep hole that looked like an opening to the inside of it. ‘Can we go inside’, I asked. ‘You will, but you are not ready yet to see what is in there’ Then my astral trip continued to cover different subjects.
I kind of let go of the idea of ‘needing’ to find the place and carried on with my life. Until two months later, a series of synchronicities starting with a vision of a mountain led me to the discovery of the volcano of the trip which now was called mount Shasta. As I was further on in my awakening journey and the activation of my third eye, I started having visitations from extraterrestrial beings calling me to come to Mount Shasta. In one of my meditations, I was again able to astral project, a merkaba appeared around me and I was found myself in front of a tree behind which I could see the mountain of my previous visions. My guide asked me to draw a symbol that was previously communicated to me in another trip on the tree and as I did, the tree opened and I was taken inside to a subterranean place that looked dark but full of crystals. There were many beings there of different shapes and forms ( some were giants and some were short beings, some stood on two legs and others had sort of a mermaid bottoms). I had many questions about the meaning of all of this and why I was brought there. And about the symptoms that I was experiencing and my fear of being sick. They reassured me that I was transcending and that I had to come to the mountain to have my energetic initiation. They said that it would heal the symptoms.
My crown chakra opening and the flow of higher energy into my body had triggered my past traumas to come to surface to be cleansed. As the light energy flew through my body and came across blockages, all sorts of nervous, psychological and physical reactions took place. Years long of unhealthy eating habits, a childhood of physical abuse and an entire life of traumatic experiences manifested in physical symptoms. I could no longer ignore the screams of help my being tried to let out my entire life. Now they were present and constant and needed to be healed.
The first and biggest trauma that came to surface was my relationship with my mother. Growing up as an extremely curious child with an anxious mother, I had a very challenging upbringing. I am a manifestor human design type, and we are designed to act without waiting. We are designed to not recognize any other authority but the one within us. My mother, on the other hand, is an extremely sensitive person. Throughout her life, she had to build the tallest walls to keep the world from getting to her and later on to her two adored children. She was afraid and alone, in a country where only the laws of the jungle applied. In a city where she knew no one but a man that tricked her into marring him with lies. A man that represented no more but an extra burden for her to take care of. I was never allowed to leave home until I was 7 of age and gained the luxury of having to go to school once a day. Mother inspected all the roads leading to school and designed the safest shortest one and asked me to never deviate from it. Under any circumstances. I deeply loved my mother, so most of the time, I did follow. But I was a curious child. I looked outside my school window and saw infinite land and buildings and adventures. It did not take long until the need in me to go and explore would take me over. I would often escape, and wander aimlessly, while my poor mother would go hysteric from one door to another, inspecting every neighborhood until she would find me. In her hysteria, you could try to imagine the extent she was willing to go to make sure this wouldn’t happen again. And you could imagine how the magnitude to which her ways would increase every time they have proved unsuccessful. My curiosity was an unstoppable force and my mother’s anxiety was an unmovable object and the answer to that riddle, is childhood long physical abuse. In my only attempt at a therapy session, I told this to my therapist, only to have her clashing my mother. Not knowing all that she had to go through, not knowing all that she had to sacrifice for us. Not taking into account the social ignorance that insured for her psychological problems to not be untreated. She did not take into account years of colonization (still ongoing) and theft that contributed to my country’s underdevelopment and lack of consciousness around mental health, as everyone is too busy surviving. She took none of that into consideration and put all the blame on my poor mother’s back. Needless to say, I never returned. Years after I had hassled my way out of that country, out of my mother’s prison, out of the darkness of my past, and manifested for myself the life I had always wanted, my being decided to wake up and throw me right back there. Time to clean up. The first attempt was to confront my mother. In our very virst trip together as she was visiting Monaco for work. As we were taking a walk by the harbor, discussing what fancy suit she should buy for my brother, I asked why I got treated the way I was treated as a child and not my brother? Why I was denied affection, support and encouragement. Why my request for very basic needs was often turned down, while he had always been treated like a glorified prince. I always loved my brother. It is her attitude that I failed to understand. Her reaction was aggressive. She cried and screamed and asked if my complaining about this would ever be over. This time, I could see through the surface of her reaction. I could see the guilt that was masked as agression and loudness. So I hugged her I asked her to only apologize and hug me. It was all that I thought I needed at that moment. Yet she couldnt. So I hugged her. ‘I forgive you’ I lied. A motnh later, when the symptoms and obesession I had about them took over me, she was my only refuge. She listened every day as I complained and shared my pain and fear as she always does. She always worries the most whenever anything touches our health but this time even when the doctors were telling me to prepare for a multiple schelerosis dygnosis, she remained calm. Even when test after test was removing the other possibilites, she said ‘a mother’s heart never lies, nothing is wrong with you’. The dark awakening symptoms were happening at the same time as the white ones. And althought there was the part of me that couldnt believe anything else but that my nervous system was degenerating and that I was cursed with an autoimmune disease coupled with a psychosis that made me see and speak to imaginary beings, there was also the part of me that could not deny all that I was experiencing spiritually. The synchronicities, the bliss, and the pain alleviating my spirit guide’s presence had on me. In my best moments, I could believe him as he repeated over and over and over again ‘Nothing is wrong with you. You are simply waking up in a body that is not ready to contain you. This body is trying to readjust to the vibration of you’ In my best moments, I could hear him out on what I needed to do to help this body contain me. He explained to me the physical, psycological and spiritual processes to guide my being into harmony. That process started with healing my relationship with my mother. And it had to start with meeting my mother and allowing her to meet me.
Childhood trauma cleaning
Although I do not remember one day of my life that I had not spoken to my mother (Codependacy was an issue), She did not know me.The healing, my guide said, had to start with truly meeting eachother and the first step was mine to make. The first step into this was telling her what I was experiencing spiritually. All I knew of her back then is that she had some muslim religious believes and that explained her initial resistance towards my newfound believes. ‘I don’t really want to hear about those things’ she said. But as we grew closer over the periods where the symptoms got more and worse, we talked all the time, she was my refuge, it got us closer and she was more open to listen to what I was going through. I explained that there is a part of me that believe that the symptoms were due to a spiritual awakening and the resurfacing of childhood trauma and that I would like to wokr through them in an attempt to heal it. This time, surprisingly she was open to hear all about it and do anything to aleviate my pain. We adressed carefully, bit by bit, the dark subject of my childhood. She listened and although she had nothing to say, being heard was half of the healing. Opening up to her became a habit and I started to open up about everything. Showing my true color, speaking of every insecurity, dropping the perfect mask I kept for so long to impress her. I understood that all my life, I was acting strong that I didn’t give her the true narrative of who I was. She lacked the pain and stuggles behind it that explained a lot of my actions. As she knew me more, she could relate more to the why I am the way I am and why I act the way I act. Her resistance washed away with every word explaining my motives. I then understood the human design’s strategy for the manifestro being ‘To inform’. All she needed was to see that I also was human and that everything she thought I did to ‘hurt her’ came from needs, insecurities and dynamics that my childhood molded in me. She finally saw me, and the more she did, the more she gave me everything I was asking of her. I realised that I was asking for soemthing she could not give back then not because she didn’t know how to give, but because she didn’t understand. Another big thing that played into braking our bound was my sexuality. From her perspective, my gayness was another act of revolting against her. She resisted it at first and I saw it a sign of her hating me. While when she also opened up, I understood that the only reason she resisted it was because she loved me so much and was scared. She was scared that her child would be bullied, outcasted, that I would be miserable. So when she was resisting it, at a deeper level, she was resisting that. Now having this newfound closeness with my mother, I spoke to her my deepest inner thoughts and questions. And since I am in the habit to put everything under the loop and try to analyse it. Raalising that I am not this ego and that I’am only here to discover this ego and experience it. There was no taboo for me when it came to decomposing my personality and analysing event he parts that defined me. My sexuality was no exeption. I did have the question in me, if my sexual preference was innate or due to the lack of a connection with a fatherly figure. Even thought I was raised by my grandfather who was my most adored person, and one of the biggest influences in my life, I had no connection to my father. I shared this question wiht her and she was willing to approach it as rationally as I did. Trying to go over the facts. And I will never forget the day she called on my birthday. She asked me to listen to her fully and to take every word in. I believe it was the first time she was the one to speak of my sexuality so far, she resisted, then she listened to me speaking. She spoke of the facts around it. But this time she started with saying: I want you to understand that you are perfect, the way you are. You ae accepted, the way you are. Your brother and I accept everything you turned out to be and are so proud of it. I respect that you are trying to understand all of you, but I want to make sure you are not doing it because you feel like you need to chnage who you are. I will fight the world with you if you had to. I see that you are not doing this to harm anyone, and I am sorry I didn’t understand you all this time. So search all you want but know that no matter what you find, you are already acceptd for it’. I did not know how much I needed to hear those words. That short phone call changed me forever.
I had been asked many times by friends what does it mean for me to have had the awakening. What did it change. It changed many things but one of the biggest things it had offered me is another perspective. Before the awakening there was I, after the awakening, I can see life from not only my eyes But I can feel other’s feelings and I have access to their perspective. After experiencing oness, I have the ability to tap into deeper motives into why people act the way they do.
It started on December 12th 2019. The full moon following my third eye-opening.
I had just came back home from Tunisia, still landing back on earth from the trip and the heavenly energy I had been soaked in the past weeks.
I recall strange things started happening upon my arrival. Minor inconveniences that seemed unrelated, but the frequency at which they took place was out of norm. It felt that somehow, a dark energy has installed upon my life.
That night, before I went to sleep, my throat was suddenly feeling sore.
Around 3 AM, I woke up with the highest fever I had ever experienced. In my ignorance, I tried to numb it with medicine, yet nothing would bring it down.
I was in terrible pain and was purging in every possible way simultaneously. As I stood to go to the bathroom, my body could not hold, and I completely crumbled to the floor. It felt like all my bodily functions ran into error. I had never experienced such a complete shutdown.
I was terrified. The only thing that calmed me down and allowed me to have some occasional sleep, was the presence of my spirit guide. They were constantly there, reassuring me that nothing was wrong. They would say that this was the result of the tremendous new flow of energy that my body was not used to. My mind did not fathom those words, but my heart could find moments of peace and rest when bathed in the blissful presence of that being. Trust! they said.
Two long days and nights of fever had slowly passed, and the familiar symptoms were fading away to give place to new, peculiar ones. On the third day, was the start of the strangest of them all. As I was laying in my bed, I started feeling intense electricity current shooting, burning and crawling all over my body.
My concern reached a point where I could no longer remain indifferent. My guide’s attempts to reassure me were surpassed by the distress of my mind. I shut down from my guide and refused pay them attention. A neurological disease was enough, I was not in the mood for a psychosis.
I decided it was time to pay a doctor visit.
Once at her office, the GP inspected my state looking for traces of bacterial infection. She could not find any, even thought the symptoms of the first days would suggest one.
As for the other symptoms, she said they were strange and could be due to many things. Vitamin D or B12 deficiency, Diabetes. She took a blood sample to test for them.
The tests results did not show anything abnormal. Out of answers, my doctor suggested to wait and observe the evolution of the symptoms.
It was not necessarily the pain that bothered me. It was the fact that I did not know what it was. The feelings were extremely uncomfortable, but the true hell was going through thousands of articles every hour looking up what it could be. Reading all the papers about neurological disorders, All the potential ways in which my body could be degenerating was eating me up.
The sensations were constantly present in my body and the thoughts of what they could be haunting in my mind.
The symptoms developed further. My mind started feeling slow and foggy, Vertigo, vision blurriness, problems with my gait and even bladder issues. All the signs of a nervous system breakdown.
Concurrently, other strange Occurrences were taking place in my life. My psychic abilities were developing. I no longer meditated the way I used to. As soon as I sit down to meditate, I would astral project out of my body and into different realms that my guide would escort me to. I started having visits from foreign beings. Receiving callings to visit a certain mountain. Being reassured by all of them, that what was happening to my body was part of the process.
When 7 months passed, my doctor got worried. After some visits to otolaryngologist and regular tests that failed to show any cause, she decided that my age, the number of neurological symptoms and their relapsing natures, could indicate Multiple Sclerosis. She prescribed an MRI.
My guide said ‘If it would ease your mind and reinforce your trust, do all the medical checks. But trust, that you are good. The symptoms will disappear as soon as you heal the traumas causing the energy to flow’
Two months before my MRI exam, I started following their recommendation for healing the trauma. It was a strict lifestyle change: No trace of pesticide in my food, daily meditation and yoga, intense breathwork, and working on my relationship with my mother.
When the MRI showed absolutely no lesions or nothing abnormal, the doctors and neurologist told me they had no explanation for what I was going through. It was only at that point that both my head and heart could believe what my spirit guide has been trying to tell me for 7 months. Your body is just adjusting to the new flow of energy.
Complete list of symptoms:
Synchronicity with the moon cycles;
Crown opening: A feeling of oneness with all there is that lasted for days; Feeling a deep love towards all existence; Transcendental experiences; Meeting spirit guide; Accelerated almost immediate manifestation (Higher vibrational state); Augmented psychic abilities; Blissful feelings; Augmented sense of empathy. Feeling other people’s feelings; Widened perspective; Meeting divinities;
Nervous symptoms: (Mimic restless legs and Multiple schlerosis)
Electricity running through the body; Tingling, prickling sensations, numbness: Paresthesia; Walking with a gait; Foggy mind; Fatigues Periods of depression (They don’t last); Blurry vision, many vision disturbances.., It can feel alarming; Vertigo.
Sleep troubles; Open Third eye: Seeing beings, hearing things, being visited. It can be frightening at first; Traumas coming to surface;
The night it happened, I was with my friends. Although I was always the one to have resistance towards recreational drugs, that night I felt the urge to take ecstasy. It came from such a calm place within me, that I had to trust it.
After a while of taking half the pill, my friends were moving and enjoying themselves. I was in no mood for dancing. I felt the need to sit down and close my eyes. In my mind’s eye, I saw Torus shape made out of thousand of small symbols, so rapidly rotating in and out of it’s center. I wanted to focus on what the symbols were, but they were so fast. I only remember pyramids, the all seeing eye and the markaba.
Then, of its own will, my body goes into something like a yoga posture, although I had never practiced it before. Without any warning, my soul gets projected out of my body.
I am on top of a mountain and around me was some sort of tribe, chanting. I get mesmerized by the sound and enjoy it for a while, until I feel a presence.
I could sense it before my eyes could see it. My hands stretched in front of me and my mouth just uttered those words: “What are you”? “My god… those eyes…” The second those words left my mouth, I could see it.
Eyes that were shaped like a horizontal big drop of water, with the night sky as a filling. And I do not meant ‘the color blue’. No the night sky, with all its colors and stars and living systems. It was as if the eyes were transparent and transposed on the night sky background. Around them was some sort of shimmering white fur with a black strap resembling that of a white tiger or a white owl. The ears were long and extended, such as those of a lynx.
There was fur covering the top of the head and the chin. It had big wings. My eyes could see this creature perfectly, but every side of it would come and go as I moved my head. Somehow, like the effect of lentcal printing. Because of this effect, it looked as if it had many sides.
I ask it again, “What are you?” The beautiful creature answers in my head, in a sort of telepathic communication ‘I am a being of light and so are you’
I got distracted by how good it felt to run my hand in its fur… I was petting it and I invited it to come closer to me. It felt so familiar when it laid on my chest.
‘What is your name’
‘Izmyr’
‘That is the name of a Turkish city’
‘It is also my name.’
The nature of the interaction was light and humorous. It felt as if I was talking to an old friend or loved one. I didn’t want to let go of the hug. It felt like I was hugging home.
‘There is a lot I have to tell and show you’ ‘Show me?’ ‘Do you want to see where we come from?’ ‘Yes’ ‘Look into my eyes’
Its eyes slowly shifted from the starry blue color to a mix of yellow, blue and red. They still kept the millions of stars in them.
‘Get on my back’
While my physical body remained seated on that bed, I got on its back and it took me to a realm beyond description.
Although in retrospect, it was a very gradual process, the feeling was that it happened very suddenly.
I will try to recall the events that preceded, to attempt to pinpoint the triggering factors.
That day, September 07th 2019, I was on a bus travelling from Belgium to Monaco to meet my mother after a year of not seeing her.
It took a lot of energy to get myself out of my apartment in Herent and all the way to Brussels north station to catch that bus. The issue was not the distance nor the very early time of the day but rather my bleeding heart.
I was deeply in love with someone, and they had gloriously broken me to pieces.
They weren’t bad about it, and that is the hardest part. It was just that, after months of dating, the more I let her in, the less she wanted to stay.
Her “heart was somewhere else” she said.
I wished she had realized that before she cried weeks ago begging me to be only hers. I wish she could have been conscious of her heart’s location before she showed me how perfectly my body fits in hers, how good it was to walk in her arms and how safe it was to let my walls down.
She had spent the night over last night to see me off and for us both to have some closure. In the morning, she walked me to the train station.
When I got on the bus, I had realized that I forgot my passport.
What’s the big deal, you might think? Being an Arab, with only a residence card, travelling outside the SHENGEN area with FLIXBUS.
They have a no tolerance policy for travelling without passport….
I had no choice but stay on that bus. The only other possibility was to miss the travel. I had not seen my mother in long and that was the only opportunity we could meet, I was willing to take that risk. Something within me was reassuring me that it was all going to be okay.
I decided to take my time on the bus to meditate. With so many events happening so fast in my life, I needed to space to look for clarity.
I was reflecting on the nature of reality as we experience it. My passion about the particular subject had led me to look for answers to this question everywhere from quantum science to religion and spirituality.
What I carried with me from all the research at this point is that reality was an infinity of parallel universes all happening at the same time and that we shift between them, mostly subconsciously.
As I was trying to meditate, something strange and unprecedented happened to me. Out of nowhere, I was sent out of my body and into this transcendental state. It did not feel like the usual state of trance I usually reach when meditating. I was taken to a dark room in my head, saw myself walking naked in it. There was an entity in that room, it had no shape nor form, it was simply a presence. When I felt it, I had the impression of remembering, that it is who I am.
The being spoke to me in a telepathic way. It had asked me what was it that I wanted. I childishly burst into an avalanche of questions about where I was and how I ended up here. It ignored my inquiries and simply repeated its previous question. So I answered that What I wanted at that moment is to get to my mother & to get my lover back.
It explained to me that whatever reality I am experiencing, is one I subconsciously choose at every now moment. If I want another one, I should simply consciously shift towards it. That there exists another reality where my partner is mine and that I could just move there. And there exists a reality where I do get to my mother in the following day, and I can choose that one.
As it was explaining this to me, a water pot appeared and you could see in it all the realities that it was talking about, running in parallel lines. It was all too intense, so I snapped out of that state and was back on the bus. But I noticed an emotional shift. I no longer felt any grief, I was ecstatic, and I just KNEW in my core that I was the manifestor of my reality and that I could take back the conscious control on it. It was a new yet a deeply rooted belief. More like a remembering. Remembering that “I am an immortal being”, “I am pure consciousness”, “all that exists is the NOW”.
I went into the trance state but this time willingly. I met the entity and together we chose to go to the reality where me not having a passport was not a problem.
I would focus on the reality I wanted until it cam forward in the water pot, I could see clearly the moment where I met my mother. and when that reality became vivid the entity would ask me to enter in it.
What just happened left me with a strange impression and many questions running through my head. Is it real? Is it just my imagination? Would it even be called imagination at this point? Am I delusional?
We passed by 5 checkpoints that trip. There was more than one time were the person right in front of me was being checked and the moment it is my turn, something would come up and they would drop it!
What was strange, was that I had no doubt as I was seeing the policeman walking towards me, that I could control this.
I reached Monaco and met my mother.
In Monaco with mama
On the bus back, I was in a constant meditative state. Full of love for everything and everyone. I felt as if I was floating through existence. Things would manifest as soon as I set intention on them. It was pure bliss and total connection to the divine.
Up until I got back home, I could still astral project into that dimension every time I meditated.
